March of the Musky Minotaurs

Nerd Trek I

Escape

A ragged band of misfits found themselves Shanghaiied, crossing the great Sea of Michigan. They are watched over by their captors, three ogres. The last thing any of them remember is arriving in Benton Harbor in the land of Michigan. They contemplate their escape.

A dicey-looking half-elf asked if anyone else knows elvish. A squirrely-looking elf responded “yes”. They talked to try to figure out how to get free. The half-elf stood up to create a diversion by standing up, but got whipped. Both did manage to get their hands free, if not their legs.

A frantic eagle, summoned by a demur, yet psycho-looking human, took flight and it annoyed the ogres to no end. The elf tried to ply her wares, but the ogres didn’t really get into it. The half-elf managed to pickpocket a passing ogre, but only got a ham sandwich, not any keys.

In a clever attempt to sew discord and use that to his advantage, the half-elf threw the ham sandwich at the feet of an ogre, catching the attention of the now ham sandwich-less ogre. Being brute ogres, they fought. One of the mischievous slaves putrefied the sandwich.

Some of the female slaves tried to distract and seduce the ogres, but didn’t really accomplish all of their goals. The Hamburglar gets caught trying to filch off and ogre and gets beat down. As he is now useless, they trade him out for a gnome.

Somehow, the Minotaur breaks free and attacks the ogres. To help, the gnome sets off a rainbow explosion in the sky. The ogres take no notice, but the minotaur gazes mindlessly. In essence defenseless, the minotaur is destroyed by the ogres.

After repeated attempts, some slaves get free. The lizards gets one of the whips and goes at the ogres. It’s chaos!

A sexy, yet deadly woman punches an ogre. In retaliation, he swung, but punched him self to death. The squirrely elf kung-fu’s an ogre. The psychotic woman sent a viper out at one of the ogres, but it missed. The team put the smack down on the ogres and took over the ship. For their efforts, they ended up with 16 gold and shitty swords.

The group takes stock and introduce themselves:

Igor: the crafty and sincere gnome cleric.
Jessica Felcher: a human summoner not to be trifled with.
Lilith the Untamed: a human witch.
Monoke Hime an elf monk, who isn’t as sexy as she thinks.
NickageĢ: A moronic and barbaric minotaur.
Olaf der Grosse: a wise human cleric.
Pope Maurice IV: a dragonic cleric.
The Hamburglar: a shifty half-elf rouge.

We decide to keep going west.

Early in the morning, the watch sees a beach and a campfire.

Greg and Adam swim to the beach.

The rest are summoned over, and Jill is there. Drinking.

We decide to go west, leaving Jill behind to finish her late sleeping. Conga music.

We have a path through the woods, not huge and not heavily traveled. We encounter a beaten up dude, whose crew was taken away and/or et by carnivorous boars. We tend to his wounds. He’s friar Tuck. He was tying to get rid of a bad temple. We decide to go help him with his problem.

We get to the temple. Much argument about planning for Tuck’s ritual. Greg wanted to block the entrance. He did one entrance, but no one else did this. Alas, we should have listened to Greg. The ritual began, and the clerics did lots of zombie killin’ with channelling. Part way into the ritual, lightening came down and licked all the zombies, after which the channelling was no longer as effective.

After the zombies are dealt with, a whirlwind appears and picks up some swords and causes minor damage before one was Mage-handed away. Then a being appeared on the altar, and panic overtook quite a few people who ran to cower in the corners. Dennis, Jeremy, Tim and Jiggle-Teets remained to battle the avatar of Apep.

(Rage and natural 20!)

Tom raged some more, did good damage. The avatar was popping in and out of locations.

Most of us moved a central location to get in better range of the avatar wherever it might pop up.

Niccage had to go to the corner to collapse after the rage.

The avatar dies, the altar crumbles, the locked out zombies crumbled to dust.

Then Jill arrives.

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